On the first day of Christmas, my GM gave to me, my name written on the Stanley.
On the second day of Christmas, my GM gave to me, two decent linemates and my name written on the Stanley.
On the third day of Christmas, my GM gave to me, three local sponsors, two decent linemates (So, you guys are twins?), and my name written on the Stanley.
On the fourth day of Christmas, my GM gave to me, four million dollars, three local sponsors (I love Bob’s BBQ!), two decent linemates (what part of Canada is Sweden in?), and my name written on the Stanley.
On the fifth day of Christmas, my GM gave to me, five Zambonis! Four million dollars (That’s a one-way contract, right? I can’t stand the thought of playing in New York and/or Brooklyn), three local sponsors (Can they see my face under the mouse mask?), two decent linemates (Will you guys pass me the puck?), and my name written on the Stanley.
On the sixth day of Christmas, my GM gave to me, six months vacation, five Zambonis! Four million dollars (Wilkes-Barre is a pretty place), three local sponsors (I’m not saying, “It’s rude if not microbrewed.”), two decent linemates (Oh you’re doing that thing where you switch jerseys. Very funny guys.), and my name written on the Stanley.
On the seventh day of Christmas, my GM gave to me: seven fitted jerseys, six months vacation (Wait, the NHL has playoffs, too?), five Zambonis! Four million dollars (I bought a boat.), three local sponsors (My salary is worth three times this car lot.), two decent linemates (No, I’m not letting you do face-offs.), and my name written on the Stanley.
On the eighth day of Christmas, my GM gave to me: eight Flyers fighting, seven fitted jerseys (I don’t think these are my size), six months vacation (No, I thought the Stanley Cup was a special jock strap), five Zambonis! Four million dollars (It’s the USS Suck It.), three local sponsors (Is this being shot with a Polaroid?), two decent linemates (Fine, you can BOTH do face-offs.), and my name written on the Stanley.
On the ninth day of Christmas, my GM gave to me: nine ladies dancing, eight Flyers fighting (I told you guys not at practice!), seven (Why are the letters falling off?), six months vacation (So, I get the same pay no matter how far we go?), five Zambonis! Four million dollars (You wanna ride?), three local sponsors (Honey, my commercial’s airing between 1-4 am! DVR it!), two decent linemates (Stop playing “Monkey-in-the-Middle”!), and my name written on the Stanley.
On the tenth day of Christmas, my GM gave to me: a ten day suspension, nine ladies dancing (I think you were good enough for the Cowboys), eight Flyers fighting (No, not at the mall either!), seven (These aren’t the team colors.), six months vacation (No, I didn’t know playoffs did not go into shootouts.), five Zambonis! Four million dollars (Well, you can’t! Suck it!), three local sponsors (The best part is I get a 10% discount on pre-approved non-showroom items!), two decent linemates (I’m sorry they scored. Well, I don’t speak Twin!), and my name written on the Stanley.
On the eleventh day of Christmas, my GM gave to me: eleven die hard fans (Yay, Phoenix), a ten day suspension (he ran into my fist!), nine ladies dancing (Yeah, you all can stay at my place, I have room), eight Flyers fighting (I don’t care who sits on Santa’s lap first!), seven (Coach, was I traded?), six months vacation (Because I don’t see who would want to watch hockey in June.), five Zambonis! Four million dollars (Zooooooom!), three local sponsors (I honestly do like Subway better than Betty’s Diner), two decent linemates (That’s it. I’m going to Raleigh.), and my name written on the Stanley.
On the twelfth day of Christmas, my GM gave to me: twelve years of playing, eleven die hard fans (I’m moving to Quebec with you!), a ten day suspension (his head was concussed before I got there), nine ladies dancing (Yeah, it’s one bed, but there’s still enough room), eight Flyers fighting (no, YOUR MOM!), seven (I HATE Wilkes-Barre AND Scranton!), six months vacation (This is really interfering with my golf game), five Zambonis! Four million dollars (I’m awesome!), three local sponsors (I honestly do like Betty’s Diner better than Subway), two decent linemates (Yes, I know how to play “Monkey-in-the-Middle”.), and my name written on the Stanley!
On the second day of Christmas, my GM gave to me, two decent linemates and my name written on the Stanley.
On the third day of Christmas, my GM gave to me, three local sponsors, two decent linemates (So, you guys are twins?), and my name written on the Stanley.
On the fourth day of Christmas, my GM gave to me, four million dollars, three local sponsors (I love Bob’s BBQ!), two decent linemates (what part of Canada is Sweden in?), and my name written on the Stanley.
On the fifth day of Christmas, my GM gave to me, five Zambonis! Four million dollars (That’s a one-way contract, right? I can’t stand the thought of playing in New York and/or Brooklyn), three local sponsors (Can they see my face under the mouse mask?), two decent linemates (Will you guys pass me the puck?), and my name written on the Stanley.
On the sixth day of Christmas, my GM gave to me, six months vacation, five Zambonis! Four million dollars (Wilkes-Barre is a pretty place), three local sponsors (I’m not saying, “It’s rude if not microbrewed.”), two decent linemates (Oh you’re doing that thing where you switch jerseys. Very funny guys.), and my name written on the Stanley.
On the seventh day of Christmas, my GM gave to me: seven fitted jerseys, six months vacation (Wait, the NHL has playoffs, too?), five Zambonis! Four million dollars (I bought a boat.), three local sponsors (My salary is worth three times this car lot.), two decent linemates (No, I’m not letting you do face-offs.), and my name written on the Stanley.
On the eighth day of Christmas, my GM gave to me: eight Flyers fighting, seven fitted jerseys (I don’t think these are my size), six months vacation (No, I thought the Stanley Cup was a special jock strap), five Zambonis! Four million dollars (It’s the USS Suck It.), three local sponsors (Is this being shot with a Polaroid?), two decent linemates (Fine, you can BOTH do face-offs.), and my name written on the Stanley.
On the ninth day of Christmas, my GM gave to me: nine ladies dancing, eight Flyers fighting (I told you guys not at practice!), seven (Why are the letters falling off?), six months vacation (So, I get the same pay no matter how far we go?), five Zambonis! Four million dollars (You wanna ride?), three local sponsors (Honey, my commercial’s airing between 1-4 am! DVR it!), two decent linemates (Stop playing “Monkey-in-the-Middle”!), and my name written on the Stanley.
On the tenth day of Christmas, my GM gave to me: a ten day suspension, nine ladies dancing (I think you were good enough for the Cowboys), eight Flyers fighting (No, not at the mall either!), seven (These aren’t the team colors.), six months vacation (No, I didn’t know playoffs did not go into shootouts.), five Zambonis! Four million dollars (Well, you can’t! Suck it!), three local sponsors (The best part is I get a 10% discount on pre-approved non-showroom items!), two decent linemates (I’m sorry they scored. Well, I don’t speak Twin!), and my name written on the Stanley.
On the eleventh day of Christmas, my GM gave to me: eleven die hard fans (Yay, Phoenix), a ten day suspension (he ran into my fist!), nine ladies dancing (Yeah, you all can stay at my place, I have room), eight Flyers fighting (I don’t care who sits on Santa’s lap first!), seven (Coach, was I traded?), six months vacation (Because I don’t see who would want to watch hockey in June.), five Zambonis! Four million dollars (Zooooooom!), three local sponsors (I honestly do like Subway better than Betty’s Diner), two decent linemates (That’s it. I’m going to Raleigh.), and my name written on the Stanley.
On the twelfth day of Christmas, my GM gave to me: twelve years of playing, eleven die hard fans (I’m moving to Quebec with you!), a ten day suspension (his head was concussed before I got there), nine ladies dancing (Yeah, it’s one bed, but there’s still enough room), eight Flyers fighting (no, YOUR MOM!), seven (I HATE Wilkes-Barre AND Scranton!), six months vacation (This is really interfering with my golf game), five Zambonis! Four million dollars (I’m awesome!), three local sponsors (I honestly do like Betty’s Diner better than Subway), two decent linemates (Yes, I know how to play “Monkey-in-the-Middle”.), and my name written on the Stanley!
