Earlier today it was reported that a local high school hockey league in Pennsylvania would be removing the National Anthem from the sequence of game events to save time, robbing some poor tone-deaf, American Idol hopeful of some practice and providing all of sixty seconds of extra time to the refs, families, and players. Here are the top ten ways that hockey arenas are saving time during their games:
10. Convincing everyone Daylight Savings Time has ended in the middle of the second period and calling the game right there.
9. Only calling penalties when somebody bleeds.
8. Outlawing bleeding.
7. Taking a minute off the clock every time somebody misses a shot on goal. Rangers games will last five minutes.
6. Shortening intermission to five minutes, giving the t-shirt crew enough time to launch one tank top.
5. Using Columbus Blue Jackets timekeepers to keep the clocks going during face-offs, time-outs, and commercials.
4. Eliminating the puck over the glass rule and keeping play going.
3. Calling the mercy rule when teams go up 4-0, limiting the time for Flyers-Pens games and Devils-Kings games.
2. Only calling offsides or icing if the puck ends up on the other side of a different rink.
1. Calling no-goal for points that would tie the game and a double goal for points that would end the game.
10. Convincing everyone Daylight Savings Time has ended in the middle of the second period and calling the game right there.
9. Only calling penalties when somebody bleeds.
8. Outlawing bleeding.
7. Taking a minute off the clock every time somebody misses a shot on goal. Rangers games will last five minutes.
6. Shortening intermission to five minutes, giving the t-shirt crew enough time to launch one tank top.
5. Using Columbus Blue Jackets timekeepers to keep the clocks going during face-offs, time-outs, and commercials.
4. Eliminating the puck over the glass rule and keeping play going.
3. Calling the mercy rule when teams go up 4-0, limiting the time for Flyers-Pens games and Devils-Kings games.
2. Only calling offsides or icing if the puck ends up on the other side of a different rink.
1. Calling no-goal for points that would tie the game and a double goal for points that would end the game.
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