To the tune of "88 Lines About 44 Women" by The Nails
The Stars had their season stolen
like a Tony Romo throw
Most of Anaheim's costs
go to feeding Bruce Boudreau
Detroit is taking up their time
by helping the AARP
They ran into Martin Brodeur
Who got a fifth replacement for his knee
Columbus heard the season's gone already
Just like last year and that is fine.
I have to make this next joke quick
before the Rangers block the line
Buffalo's most famous game
involves some fog and a misplaced bat
Vancouver looks real nice
On the left side of the US hat
Colorado's one of the only teams
to be champs after a city change
Zdeno Chara's fingertips
Can touch Boston and Denver, it's quite the range
The Blues had a playoff streak
Twenty five years, then all but done
But yet they have less rings than Tampa
St. Louis - Zero, The Lightning - One
San Jose has a solid team
with Thornton, Boyle, and Havlat
Minnesota is just San Jose
With a smaller money cap
Edmonton just dominates
the age-old Alberta rivalry
I guess that's just not too hard
When your opponent is just Calgary
Carolina sells their tickets for $10
since they can't give them away or sell them out
Toronto's fans line the streets
like a late 90s Star Wars camp-out
The Eagles scored fourteen versus Pitt
In a game they couldn't win
The Flyers are still shorthanded
From stacked penalties with the Pens
Chicago's biggest setback
might be Niklas Hjalmarsson
Montreal's biggest setback
is that they are Canadian
Nashville intimidates
Through their mascot, the Predators
Who are no match for politicians
In Ottawa and their Senators
The MTS Centre gladly
hosts Winnipeg and its Jets
Where Phoenix moves across the map
I don't know! Place your bets!
The Panthers team went to Disney World
To find a part-time job that pays
The Nassau Vets Ice Arena
Goes historic within 30 days
The LA Kings took it all
The Stanley Cup in victory
The Caps never have a shot
Ironic, since they're in DC
The Stars had their season stolen
like a Tony Romo throw
Most of Anaheim's costs
go to feeding Bruce Boudreau
Detroit is taking up their time
by helping the AARP
They ran into Martin Brodeur
Who got a fifth replacement for his knee
Columbus heard the season's gone already
Just like last year and that is fine.
I have to make this next joke quick
before the Rangers block the line
Buffalo's most famous game
involves some fog and a misplaced bat
Vancouver looks real nice
On the left side of the US hat
Colorado's one of the only teams
to be champs after a city change
Zdeno Chara's fingertips
Can touch Boston and Denver, it's quite the range
The Blues had a playoff streak
Twenty five years, then all but done
But yet they have less rings than Tampa
St. Louis - Zero, The Lightning - One
San Jose has a solid team
with Thornton, Boyle, and Havlat
Minnesota is just San Jose
With a smaller money cap
Edmonton just dominates
the age-old Alberta rivalry
I guess that's just not too hard
When your opponent is just Calgary
Carolina sells their tickets for $10
since they can't give them away or sell them out
Toronto's fans line the streets
like a late 90s Star Wars camp-out
The Eagles scored fourteen versus Pitt
In a game they couldn't win
The Flyers are still shorthanded
From stacked penalties with the Pens
Chicago's biggest setback
might be Niklas Hjalmarsson
Montreal's biggest setback
is that they are Canadian
Nashville intimidates
Through their mascot, the Predators
Who are no match for politicians
In Ottawa and their Senators
The MTS Centre gladly
hosts Winnipeg and its Jets
Where Phoenix moves across the map
I don't know! Place your bets!
The Panthers team went to Disney World
To find a part-time job that pays
The Nassau Vets Ice Arena
Goes historic within 30 days
The LA Kings took it all
The Stanley Cup in victory
The Caps never have a shot
Ironic, since they're in DC
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