Each professional sport has their own set of grand operating deities to which fans of the sport can pray when their team needs that extra surge of energy at the end of the game or when clingy, desperate hopes reach a new high that beer and pizza just can't fill.
Anteludes - the god of the preseason - This is the god responsible for delivering false hope to fans of the Columbus Blue Jackets and Edmonton Oilers. Mostly small market owners praise this deity.
Anteludes - the god of the preseason - This is the god responsible for delivering false hope to fans of the Columbus Blue Jackets and Edmonton Oilers. Mostly small market owners praise this deity.
Ludeglacio - the god of regular season games - This is the higher power one should subscribe to if they only care about making the playoffs or if you want the game to go into overtime. This god worked overtime as many Panthers converts found out about him.
Historiglacius - the god of hockey history - This god is to be prayed to when you want to permanently engrain a game into your head, like the 1980 Miracle game or permanently delete a game from your head, like the 2010 Caps-Habs series, which totally didn't happen.
Testaludo - the god of Stanley Cup playoffs games - The guy in charge of who wins the Stanley Cup. He has been known to play favorites. He has been known to not play Vancouver or San Jose.
Exblocus - the god of tragedy - This god's inbox is currently inundated with the sad, whaling cries of hockey fanatics across America and Canada.
Visludicus - the god of NHL '13 - The god that somehow saw it fit for me to still have Eric Fehr on my team, even though he hasn't played in DC since he was teammates with Steckel.
Phantasius - the god of fantasy hockey - He mostly just manages the cognitive dissonance you feel for putting Evgeni Malkin, Alex Ovechkin, and Ilya Kovalchuk on the same team.
Ceres - the god of the minor league - The divine authority who makes sure your farm team players are good enough for professional games, but no more than ten, so they don't make the league minimum. Another popular one for owners.
Comercies - the god of trades - the higher power that oversaw the Staal move to Carolina and the Nash move to New York, because there's really no other way to explain it.
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