Given the current state of hockey, it's hard to break the newbies in to their newfound professional environs. Here are some of the creative ways team have found to give the new pros a rite of passage.
10. Taking care of Karl Alzner's dogs in their personal homes even though he's sitting right there, playing NHL '13.
9. Forcing the rookies to walk the equipment of KHL players to and from Russia.
8. Making the newbs memorize the 75,000 page playbook and the 75,000 page financials.
7. Helping every motorist on I-95 and apologizing for the Caps not advancing in the playoffs but at least this time it's totally not their fault.
6. Hosing down the dozens of protesters in Toronto.
5. Tying up rookies to office chairs at lockout meetings and then having them race.
4. Adorning the fresh faces with Sean Avery's fashion line for use during negotiations.
3. Having the rookies circle around Teemu Selanne and hear about the lockouts in the good old days, when if you wanted to tweet about the situation, your agent had to have a press release, uphill both ways.
2. Handing over three "legitimate" counteroffers and having Nail Yakupov deliver them to the owners. Hilarity will ensue for everyone not named Nail Yakupov.
1. Giving the rookies Gary Bettman's haircut.
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