10. Passing around an "We concede all conditions to the owners" petition for all players to sign disguised as a "Free Ice Cream on Mondays" campaign.
9. Making an offer to only cap Ilya Kovalchuk's contracts to five years.
8. Producing a Hallmark card that says, "I'm sorry I locked you out three times in my tenure. Friends?"
7. The owners paying their head butlers to get on their knees and beg the players to come back.
6. Attempting to allow free agency under the agreement that free means the players don't get paid.
5. Stating that Columbus will never host an All-Star Game. It will only be played in major cities.
4. Road trip movies will no longer be limited to "The Mighty Ducks". Will now include the whole trilogy and the cartoon!
3. Threatening to expand the AHL to Canada, Russia, and Europe.
2. The Bugs Bunny Reversal: Starting an argument with the players, "You want to come back?" "No, we don't." "You do." "We don't." "You do." "We don't." "You don't." "We do!"
1. To eliminate travel, Winnipeg will either be moved to a new division or a new geographical location.
9. Making an offer to only cap Ilya Kovalchuk's contracts to five years.
8. Producing a Hallmark card that says, "I'm sorry I locked you out three times in my tenure. Friends?"
7. The owners paying their head butlers to get on their knees and beg the players to come back.
6. Attempting to allow free agency under the agreement that free means the players don't get paid.
5. Stating that Columbus will never host an All-Star Game. It will only be played in major cities.
4. Road trip movies will no longer be limited to "The Mighty Ducks". Will now include the whole trilogy and the cartoon!
3. Threatening to expand the AHL to Canada, Russia, and Europe.
2. The Bugs Bunny Reversal: Starting an argument with the players, "You want to come back?" "No, we don't." "You do." "We don't." "You do." "We don't." "You don't." "We do!"
1. To eliminate travel, Winnipeg will either be moved to a new division or a new geographical location.
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