What if the lockout isn't really a lockout? What if the lockout was just a means to get the players back home to their families before the end of the world? Think about it. Hockey players are the toughest men outside of Marines and the skills they learn on the rink are very transferable to a maritime setting. What if Gary Bettman knows that a zombie apocalypse is on the horizon and our best defense lay within the players of the NHL? Ovechkin and Malkin taking up arms with AK-47s and fermented potato juice laying waste to decomposed demons from beyond the grave? Maybe at the end of it, the world will be a better place as we would have bonded in crisis. Maybe Gary Bettman isn't a douchebag. He's just trying to save us.
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